Budget-Balancing Compromises

The argument is being made, not unfairly, that since the United States has essentially run out of money, and so certain programs need to be cut. Unsurprisingly, Republicans instantly put PBS and Planned Parenthood on the chopping block. Faced with the consequences of cutting these, the counter-argument is, "Yeah, but we're just plain out of money!"

Well, okay, how about we meet you Republicans half-way on things?

You're gonna cut Planned Parenthood? Okay, but you have to cut funding to all your religiously motivated abstinence-only programs and efforts designed to "counsel" women into not getting their proper birth control. Yeah, I know, you want to tell women what they can do with their own reproductive organs, but as you already pointed out, we don't have the money anymore.

You want to cut PBS? NPR? Okay, fine, but you have to stop funding the F.C.C. The Federal Communications Commission is a dinosaur anyway, daring to censor the media that uses towers and antennas while leaving all other media uncensored. No censorship on cable TV, no censorship of the internet, no censorship of satellite radio. So what's the point of funding the puritans of 1950's media? I know, I know, you want to keep on restraining American free speech, but we just don't have the money, right?

You want to cut environmental programs? Okay, fine, but you have to stop subsidizing Big Oil. I know, you're worried about poor little Exxon and Royal Dutch Shell getting by on slightly smaller mountains of cash, but like you said, we just don't have the fucking money.

You want to cut medical benefits to the poor? Okay, but you're going to have to stop spending money to oppose medical marijuana. While you're at it, de-fund the entire so-called drug war, too.

You want to stop funding clean water? Well, then stop funding Blackwater.

You want to stop funding welfare programs? Well, you'll have to stop giving money to faith-based initiatives.

And hell, since you're so willing to wage war upon the American poor, for Christ's sake stop spending so much money waging wars in other nations! It's bad enough our government attacks its own people, much less people abroad!

Hell, with compromises like these, we might just balance the budget yet!

Eric