An End To Sexual Harassment. Maybe

Okay, this one's just for the guys.

We love looking at scantily clad women, don't we? We love this sort of beauty that goes through our eyeballs and straight to the pleasure centers of our male brains, right?

So on some level, while we totally condemn the behavior of Harvey Weinstein, we can slightly relate to the thoughts that went through his sick, demented mind. I mean, we've all fantasized about doing what he's done, except in our fantasies, the women don't say, "Ewww!" No, in our fantasies, women actually want us, while in Harvey's fantasies, he fantasized that talented actresses weren't actually acting while in his presence.

And this is frustrating for the rest of us, isn't it? Because this dick, Weinstein, and everyone like him, ruin things for the rest of us. Because we're nice guys. We don't grab tits when uninvited, we don't creep women out, and we don't cross "that line."

Which means that when the Weinsteins of the world do, whether rich or poor, they make women more defensive, less approachable, less friendly, and more likely to cover their sexy selves.

But herein lies a lesson for all of us, and even the would-be Weinsteins should take note: If we want women to be more open, more approachable, and wear things that are more revealing...

We have to make them feel safe!

Women who feel safe are all those things we like most in women. And herein lies a means to ending sexual harassment: If you want to feast your eyes....

Keep your hands to yourself!

It sounds odd, but denying hands in order to improve the view is language that even the lowest pervert can understand. Don't touch, and women will feel safe. And you'll get to see more. Great deal, huh?

Starve your hands so you can feast your eyes.


Okay, did all you pervs get that?


Eric

*

Freedom Or Fabric?

When it comes to NFL players kneeling during the national anthem, the issue isn't difficult to understand. Yet some work very hard to do so anyway. During the anthem, should one honor the freedom, or the fabric?

If you believe in what the fabric stands for, the answer should be freedom. That begins with freedom of speech. But the same First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution which guarantees freedom of speech also gives citizens the right to "petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

Which is exactly what the NFL players are doing when they kneel.

It couldn't possibly be more American. It couldn't honor our nation's freedom more. It's simple, it's pure, and it it every citizens' right.

"Wait!" says the average simpleton, "You mean the flag stands for the freedom of people to disrespect the flag?!"

You damn right it does! Not only does the flag stand for those who disrespect the flag, but the constitution guarantees such disrespect! It's part of freedom of speech, and redressing the government of grievances.

"You mean the flag stands for the freedom to burn the flag?!"

Yes! The flag especially stands for the freedom to burn the flag!

If someone marches up to the Capital steps, and lights a flag on fire because he's upset at his government, that is the truest expression of America there is. It's enshrined in the first amendment that he has the right to do this. And if you put on a uniform and fight for America, you fight to protect exactly that. If you disagree, then you oughtn't put on the uniform in the first place.

So those who truly dishonor the flag are those who dishonor the freedom. Because it's all about the freedom, not the fabric. And those who honor fabric over freedom are the ones who truly dishonor America.

For example, Mike Pence walking out after the national anthem at a Colt's game as a publicity stunt.

Fuck you, Mr. Vice President. You shat on the Constitution you swore to protect and defend!

So let's honor the freedom. Never mind the fabric.

Because the NFL players who kneel are not wrong. Police officers in urban areas shoot to kill black people when a shot to the leg will do just fine. And this truly is a problem that needs a "redress of grievance."

Freedom. Not fabric. Let's try to keep our eye on the ball.


Eric

*