Recently, PZ Meyers did what I recently did regarding the movie, Avatar, and posted a movie review on his blog, Pharyngula, about it. I guess great minds think alike -- except I did it first. (Nyah-nyah!)
But he mentioned something interesting about the main characters being big, blue, and naked. Somehow, seems like we, as a society, don't seem to mind nudity all that much, provided that it's placed in some other hue besides fleshtone. Whether it's the big blue and virtually topless Na'vi aliens of Pandora, or the big blue and strangely half-circumcised penis of Dr. Manhattan, we seem to regard colorized nudity to be something which doesn't count -- almost as if paint acts as a kind of clothing.
This is nothing new. Back in the 1960's the Star Trek pilot episode, "The Cage" featured the green-skinned Orion women, who were said to be sexually irresistable. Susan oliver danced about in her barely clad costume and shook her generous hips (Oh, how I wish Hollywood would bring back real women who are shaped like that!) and made for a watershed event in terms of how much sexuality sci-fi could get away with on television and the silver screen. All hail the Starfleet Uniform miniskirt!
But there's more to it than that. We seem to regard CGI nudity in that same category. It's as if the fact that the nudity is generated by a computer somehow masks actual nudity even more effectively than paint. We again can point to Dr. Manhattan, or the deliberate nudity of the CGI film, Beowulf, which had plenty of computer-nudity and even dared to show Sir Anthony Hopkins nearly naked. But this really is a phenomenon that goes all the way back to the film Boogie Nights, which culminated with an obvious piece of special effects which added at least five inches to Marky-Mark Walhlberg's dick. No, you're not a star.
But if they can do that with computers, what's not possible? Hmmm, maybe they should re-do the Laura Croft Tomb Raider movies! Or maybe, by contrast, Playboy magazine should finally stop air-brushing? With such realism made possible with such technology, it's really only a matter of time before the best X-rated movies won't even need victimized women on cocaine doing it with old male thugs on Viagra anymore. (Good riddance!) Supersized boobs will merely be a mouse-click away. And we really won't be able to tell the difference between real boobs on a fat woman and fake boobs on a skinny one, because a computer can simply take one and superimpose it on the other. There may even be computer programmable porno movies where you can type in your preferences to make hours and hours of fun-filled screwing scenes with women who have exactly the proportions you prefer.
Oh, it's a great time to be male!
My point in talking about all that is simply this: How is it that in the midst of all this, we somehow developed enough anal-retentiveness as a society to go all ape-shit when Janet Jackson showed her non-painted, non-CGI generated, and merely B-cup sized boob for half a damned second on the halftime show of the 2004 Superbowl? And why, in the midst of all the scantily-clad female back-up dancers and shirtless male dancers in spandex, did this at all matter?
It's the 21st century going on one decade as of midnight tonight, and we'll have to all recognize that if we can't come to grips with our own skin, we'll never get by. This matters, not because we're a society of prudes who need to get over it -- although that's a compelling enough reason by itself. No, it matters because the advertizers who want to take advantage of us do so by titilating us sexually, and the prudes who fight agaisnt open sexuality unwittingly give them cover -- allowing them to snipe at us with sneak peeks at the forbidden. To free ourselves from this situation, we need to open our minds, and sometimes our buttons, to the reality that nudity isn't such a big deal. With that mindset, society forces advertizers to sell their products based on their merit - and that scares them!
But it matters also to achieving a more peaceful world. There are two simple ways entertainment can be spiced up: One is with more sex. The other is with more violence. And with one avenue closed, the other avenue becomes more attractive to producers. We've seen this with soap operas -- where the endless audience of As the World Turns has gotten bored with all the sex, and so episodes now frequently feature murder. But outside the world of soaps, the avenue of sex has only barely been used, and so we find that our children frequently see people being killed with guns, and seldom seeing the tenderness of human love and affection.
Pardon the double entendre, but fuck that!
Well, I say, more sex, less violence! 'Make love not war' is a mantra that is equally suitable for the silver screen as it once was for the war in Vietnam. And women can easily use their sexuality to persuade more men to be non-violent. O, Woman, thou has more power than thou knowest! Fucking USE it! You'll find that witholding sex from the violent shitheads of this world quickly eliminates their presence. And we NEED that!
And the first step towards that situation, is getting over the nudity. We shouldn't have to resort to CGI or pretty blue or green colors in order to allow us to see skin. Let's be adults about our bodies, for once!
Eric
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
A Nice Christmas Poem...
Disclaimer: Every year at Christmas time, I make the case that parents should not lie to their children about anything--even Santa Claus. I feel strongly that telling kids Santa is real is teaching children that lying to those you love is okay. This year, as in many years past, many little hearts will be broken as they learn Santa isn't real. Yet every year, I'm never taken seriously by any parents I mention this to. True, not lying about Santa robs children of the magical element to the holidays, and it's a very important lesson for children to eventually learn that parents aren't infallable, but I still think that the Santa Claus ritual trains children from a very early age to be credulous, and we've got enough of that going around as it is. The following poem is designed to bring home this point. Enjoy!
An Account of No Visit by St. Nicholas
A poem by Eric Hildeman
(Borrowed from the work of Clement Clark Moore)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
But that was to change before the night ended,
For none was asleep, every eyelid distended;
Our stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas might just soon be there;
But we three kids weren't quite so nestled in our beds,
For visions of espionage danced in our heads;
Tonight we would learn, for once and for all,
Whether Santa was real, or if there was none at all;
And see for ourselves if reindeer could fly,
In defiance of gravity across the night sky.
Brother and sister in their sleepers, and I in my cap,
Had convinced mom and pop we were taking our nap;
When out in the den there arose such a clatter,
We sprang up from our beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairwell we flew in a flash,
Sliding down the floorboards, and avoiding a crash.
Peering over the railing at the lit tree aglow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the objects below;
And what to our wondering sight should appear,
But a very distinct absence of eight tiny reindeer.
Our parents were wrapping presents so lively and quick,
That we knew in a moment there was no St. Nick.
More rapid than bullets the revelations they came:
All costumes and lies, and a legendary name.
And if all these lessons had come now to naught,
What other things were false that we'd been taught?
Those things which we'd thought so sure and so brazen,
Could they be lies too? Could God? Could Satan?
We spoke not a word, but stared straight at this work,
When mom and pop suddenly turned ‘round with a jerk;
My baby little sister, that jolly little elf,
Had laughed when she saw this, in spite of herself.
The glint in pop’s eye and the tilt of his head,
Soon let us kids know we had plenty to dread!
Pop clenched up his fist out in front of his nose,
And giving a nod, to the stairwell he rose.
He sprang up the stairs, to my team I gave a whistle,
And away we all flew like the down of a thistle.
Back down the hallway the courses we flew,
At our heels, the bogus St. Nicholas, too.
More rapid than eagles his courses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called us by name;
"You doggone kids! You'd just better run!
You've spoiled our secret! You've ruined our fun!”
And hearing these words while running down the hall,
We dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all!
When back in the bedroom I spun back around,
Bro' and Sis' landed back into bed with a bound.
Our pursuer had stopped, leaving us dumbfounded,
’Till we all slowly realized we were certainly grounded.
Though no permanent scars did we receive that Christmas night,
We emerged more confused about what was wrong and what was right.
In the years that followed, in teenage vice,
We listened more to peers than to parents' advice.
And one more lesson that night we were taught:
It’s all right to lie, if you just don't get caught;
Or if certain situations will justify,
The certain variety or use of the lie.
'Tis a difficult problem, and a peculiar plight,
But still....
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
An Account of No Visit by St. Nicholas
A poem by Eric Hildeman
(Borrowed from the work of Clement Clark Moore)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
But that was to change before the night ended,
For none was asleep, every eyelid distended;
Our stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas might just soon be there;
But we three kids weren't quite so nestled in our beds,
For visions of espionage danced in our heads;
Tonight we would learn, for once and for all,
Whether Santa was real, or if there was none at all;
And see for ourselves if reindeer could fly,
In defiance of gravity across the night sky.
Brother and sister in their sleepers, and I in my cap,
Had convinced mom and pop we were taking our nap;
When out in the den there arose such a clatter,
We sprang up from our beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the stairwell we flew in a flash,
Sliding down the floorboards, and avoiding a crash.
Peering over the railing at the lit tree aglow,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the objects below;
And what to our wondering sight should appear,
But a very distinct absence of eight tiny reindeer.
Our parents were wrapping presents so lively and quick,
That we knew in a moment there was no St. Nick.
More rapid than bullets the revelations they came:
All costumes and lies, and a legendary name.
And if all these lessons had come now to naught,
What other things were false that we'd been taught?
Those things which we'd thought so sure and so brazen,
Could they be lies too? Could God? Could Satan?
We spoke not a word, but stared straight at this work,
When mom and pop suddenly turned ‘round with a jerk;
My baby little sister, that jolly little elf,
Had laughed when she saw this, in spite of herself.
The glint in pop’s eye and the tilt of his head,
Soon let us kids know we had plenty to dread!
Pop clenched up his fist out in front of his nose,
And giving a nod, to the stairwell he rose.
He sprang up the stairs, to my team I gave a whistle,
And away we all flew like the down of a thistle.
Back down the hallway the courses we flew,
At our heels, the bogus St. Nicholas, too.
More rapid than eagles his courses they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called us by name;
"You doggone kids! You'd just better run!
You've spoiled our secret! You've ruined our fun!”
And hearing these words while running down the hall,
We dashed away, dashed away, dashed away all!
When back in the bedroom I spun back around,
Bro' and Sis' landed back into bed with a bound.
Our pursuer had stopped, leaving us dumbfounded,
’Till we all slowly realized we were certainly grounded.
Though no permanent scars did we receive that Christmas night,
We emerged more confused about what was wrong and what was right.
In the years that followed, in teenage vice,
We listened more to peers than to parents' advice.
And one more lesson that night we were taught:
It’s all right to lie, if you just don't get caught;
Or if certain situations will justify,
The certain variety or use of the lie.
'Tis a difficult problem, and a peculiar plight,
But still....
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Canadian Health Care - Five "Terrifying" Testimonials
Two blogs in one day? Well, the earlier one was a movie review. This one is a repeat from a woman named Valerie Tarico, who lives in Seattle. Her perspective on Canada's health care system is relevant to my recent posts.
One thing I've noticed: Conservatives say that Canada's system stinks, and liberals say it's reasonably good, but only liberals go up north of the border and actually interview people there. Michael Moore went up there, Air America regularly has canadian guests on, but the conservatives have no counterpoint to this. They don't seem to interview Canadians!
I wonder why?
I dare any conservative readers out there to cite something where a neocon news outlet has interviewed a Canadian. Come on, prove me wrong!
Meanwhile, here's Valerie's post. Enjoy!
Eric
----------------------------------
I married a Canadian, which got me, among other things, some pretty awesome Canadian in-laws, a bunch of friends who think hockey is actually worth watching (not for the same reason I do, which is to nerd out on the fascinating phenomenon of mob psychosis), and two kids who are fiercely proud of their dual citizenship. It also got me a window into the Canadian health system, that bloated bureaucracy of ill-repute which for some bizarre reason provided my father-in-law with an implanted defibrillator and solid, timely medical care during his final years.
Canadians, in my experience, follow American politics more closely than Americans do, and some of them even sign themselves up for my mailing list. So when I sent out my latest lament, "Ode to Health Care Reform: An Absurd Poem about Absurdities," one of the things I got back was a testimonial from the Middle America of the Great White North:
"As a Canadian, I have comfort in the system being provided even with its imperfections. I lost a wife to breast cancer. All the treatments (diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation) cost me NOTHING. I am willing to pay an extra tax so I and others can benefit from health care. May I sadly add that what the US has spent on recent wars (Iraq and Afghanistan) can build a nation? It is obvious that those who have less or no voice to voice are not on the 'to do list' of political leaders." – Ibrahim Sumrain (Edmonton, Alberta)
Reading Ibrahim’s note, it occurred to me that maybe we should expose our own Middle America more to the horrors of the socialized medical system under which our northern neighbors suffer out their shabby lives of quiet desperation. So, I solicited a few more comments from acquaintances and friends. They should terrify every blood sucking insurance lobbyist in D.C.
Dorthea Hangaard (Sointula, British Columbia)
"Ten years ago I required surgery to have fibroid tumours removed. Because I live in a remote community, I was concerned I would end up in a rural hospital under the care of a second-rate surgeon. The Canadian health care system allowed me to choose my surgeon (I found a top-rated surgeon), and the hospital (I chose a teaching hospital in Vancouver that I knew would be well-resourced). Not only that, but my compassionate surgeon allowed me to extend my stay in the hospital because I had to travel such a great distance to get home again. While in the hospital, I received the best care available, including radical new procedures not readily available elsewhere.
"All of this cost me nothing more than the small monthly premiums I have been paying in to the medical system since I began a career (those on a low income are exempt from paying premiums). To this day I feel overwhelmed with gratitude whenever I think of the experience. Canadians can't even grasp that people are refused medical treatment in the U.S. because they cannot afford it."
Bill Jamieson (Mayne Island, B.C.)
"At age 76, my dad had an abdominal aneurism, and, down the road, complications related to that aneurism ultimately killed him. If we were in the US and didn’t have health insurance the amount of care that my father received probably would have cost a million dollars. He had the provincial specialists working on him. It didn’t cost us anything. He was being fed through a TPN line through his neck, a liquid diet. It costs a thousand dollars/day, and he was on that for at least a month.
"Most of the interventions that were done on Dad were like rocket science. They were the same techniques that would be done in a top hospital anywhere in the world.
"He got timely care. His surgery was scheduled based on his ability to respond to the surgery and his strength at the time. We felt that his original surgical date, last spring,—if it was in the States it would have been done sooner, but it didn’t need to be done sooner. That is one of the differences between the US and Canada in my mind. You can get surgeries done faster in the States. But if you have a crisis there is no delay.
"This fall, on a hunting trip with my brother, it became apparent that Dad was very sick. In the last surgery my dad had, he had three vascular surgeons, two anesthesiologists, a bowel surgeon and a kidney surgeon working on him over a period of thirteen hours. They were incredible. The ICU team was incredible. I would like to stress how compassionate the care was all the way through. There was real caring that was part of the reason he survived as long as he did."
Gloria Lee Clark (Vancouver, B.C.)
Anna’s experience:
"My sister Anna was at a climbing gym and fell over 25 feet. She managed to break her left femur and hip, smash her left heel, ankle and wrist, and break her right ankle in 2 places. She was taken to the local hospital where she was promptly x-rayed and diagnosed. She was in the hospital for 4 weeks and had a total of 4 surgeries to repair all that was broken. After she was released from the hospital, there were nurses, physiotherapists, and doctors who made house-calls to care for her. When she was able to leave the house she went to the hospital’s out-patient physiotherapist twice a week for many months. A year later she had to have a 5th surgery to remove some pins that were bothering her. Except for the rental of some of the equipment she needed; hospital beds, wheelchairs, etc. her entire care was covered by our Canadian medical system. As horrible as the accident was, and no she will not fully regain all her strength and flexibility, she had the best care possible at the cost of her regular monthly MSP (Medical Services Plan)."
My experience:
"Nine years ago I was pregnant with twins. I was under the care of an Obstetrician and had monthly ultrasounds. At 30 weeks the ultrasound revealed that I was 1 cm dilated and was promptly hospitalized and placed on bed rest, apparently the best prescription for avoiding pre-mature birth. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital under the care of a team of nurses and doctors. At 35 weeks the doctor determined that the babies needed to come out as they were not growing at the expected rate. After their birth I spent 1 more week with them in the hospital, and they stayed for another week. Between me and the babies there was a total of 7 weeks of hospitalization. The total cost for me was zero. Was it absolutely necessary for me to have stayed in the hospital for 6 weeks I will never know. What I do know is that I have 2 beautiful healthy children and I would never have been able to afford the cost of the hospital care had I not had the Canadian medical system supporting me."
Kent James (Toronto, Ontario)
"My dad waited exactly 9 weeks after deciding that he wanted a knee replacement. My son has been treated for asthma since he was 18 months old. My mom is type 2 diabetic. None of them has ever had to wait for anything. None of them has ever had to worry about who would pay for anything. And none of them wants to pay a few less dollars in tax for the privilege of taking on those risks and responsibilities."
----
The Canadian system isn’t perfect. Do people die there from oversights or botched care? Of course!-- just like they do—to borrow Bill’s words—in top hospitals anywhere in the world. But what is more terrifying, apparently, to half of our senators, is that our northern neighbors’ government-managed semi-socialized system works. In fact, for most people most of the time, it works great. Oh, and did I mention the premiums? Dorthea’s costs her $54/month. ("[It] gets me EVERYTHING I need. The best care I can arrange for myself. I choose the doctor, the hospital, my treatment.") Anna’s is $114, for a family of four. That’s Canadian.
Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is theauthor of TheDark Side: How Evangelical Teachings Corrupt Love and Truth, and thefounder of www.WisdomCommons.org
One thing I've noticed: Conservatives say that Canada's system stinks, and liberals say it's reasonably good, but only liberals go up north of the border and actually interview people there. Michael Moore went up there, Air America regularly has canadian guests on, but the conservatives have no counterpoint to this. They don't seem to interview Canadians!
I wonder why?
I dare any conservative readers out there to cite something where a neocon news outlet has interviewed a Canadian. Come on, prove me wrong!
Meanwhile, here's Valerie's post. Enjoy!
Eric
----------------------------------
I married a Canadian, which got me, among other things, some pretty awesome Canadian in-laws, a bunch of friends who think hockey is actually worth watching (not for the same reason I do, which is to nerd out on the fascinating phenomenon of mob psychosis), and two kids who are fiercely proud of their dual citizenship. It also got me a window into the Canadian health system, that bloated bureaucracy of ill-repute which for some bizarre reason provided my father-in-law with an implanted defibrillator and solid, timely medical care during his final years.
Canadians, in my experience, follow American politics more closely than Americans do, and some of them even sign themselves up for my mailing list. So when I sent out my latest lament, "Ode to Health Care Reform: An Absurd Poem about Absurdities," one of the things I got back was a testimonial from the Middle America of the Great White North:
"As a Canadian, I have comfort in the system being provided even with its imperfections. I lost a wife to breast cancer. All the treatments (diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation) cost me NOTHING. I am willing to pay an extra tax so I and others can benefit from health care. May I sadly add that what the US has spent on recent wars (Iraq and Afghanistan) can build a nation? It is obvious that those who have less or no voice to voice are not on the 'to do list' of political leaders." – Ibrahim Sumrain (Edmonton, Alberta)
Reading Ibrahim’s note, it occurred to me that maybe we should expose our own Middle America more to the horrors of the socialized medical system under which our northern neighbors suffer out their shabby lives of quiet desperation. So, I solicited a few more comments from acquaintances and friends. They should terrify every blood sucking insurance lobbyist in D.C.
Dorthea Hangaard (Sointula, British Columbia)
"Ten years ago I required surgery to have fibroid tumours removed. Because I live in a remote community, I was concerned I would end up in a rural hospital under the care of a second-rate surgeon. The Canadian health care system allowed me to choose my surgeon (I found a top-rated surgeon), and the hospital (I chose a teaching hospital in Vancouver that I knew would be well-resourced). Not only that, but my compassionate surgeon allowed me to extend my stay in the hospital because I had to travel such a great distance to get home again. While in the hospital, I received the best care available, including radical new procedures not readily available elsewhere.
"All of this cost me nothing more than the small monthly premiums I have been paying in to the medical system since I began a career (those on a low income are exempt from paying premiums). To this day I feel overwhelmed with gratitude whenever I think of the experience. Canadians can't even grasp that people are refused medical treatment in the U.S. because they cannot afford it."
Bill Jamieson (Mayne Island, B.C.)
"At age 76, my dad had an abdominal aneurism, and, down the road, complications related to that aneurism ultimately killed him. If we were in the US and didn’t have health insurance the amount of care that my father received probably would have cost a million dollars. He had the provincial specialists working on him. It didn’t cost us anything. He was being fed through a TPN line through his neck, a liquid diet. It costs a thousand dollars/day, and he was on that for at least a month.
"Most of the interventions that were done on Dad were like rocket science. They were the same techniques that would be done in a top hospital anywhere in the world.
"He got timely care. His surgery was scheduled based on his ability to respond to the surgery and his strength at the time. We felt that his original surgical date, last spring,—if it was in the States it would have been done sooner, but it didn’t need to be done sooner. That is one of the differences between the US and Canada in my mind. You can get surgeries done faster in the States. But if you have a crisis there is no delay.
"This fall, on a hunting trip with my brother, it became apparent that Dad was very sick. In the last surgery my dad had, he had three vascular surgeons, two anesthesiologists, a bowel surgeon and a kidney surgeon working on him over a period of thirteen hours. They were incredible. The ICU team was incredible. I would like to stress how compassionate the care was all the way through. There was real caring that was part of the reason he survived as long as he did."
Gloria Lee Clark (Vancouver, B.C.)
Anna’s experience:
"My sister Anna was at a climbing gym and fell over 25 feet. She managed to break her left femur and hip, smash her left heel, ankle and wrist, and break her right ankle in 2 places. She was taken to the local hospital where she was promptly x-rayed and diagnosed. She was in the hospital for 4 weeks and had a total of 4 surgeries to repair all that was broken. After she was released from the hospital, there were nurses, physiotherapists, and doctors who made house-calls to care for her. When she was able to leave the house she went to the hospital’s out-patient physiotherapist twice a week for many months. A year later she had to have a 5th surgery to remove some pins that were bothering her. Except for the rental of some of the equipment she needed; hospital beds, wheelchairs, etc. her entire care was covered by our Canadian medical system. As horrible as the accident was, and no she will not fully regain all her strength and flexibility, she had the best care possible at the cost of her regular monthly MSP (Medical Services Plan)."
My experience:
"Nine years ago I was pregnant with twins. I was under the care of an Obstetrician and had monthly ultrasounds. At 30 weeks the ultrasound revealed that I was 1 cm dilated and was promptly hospitalized and placed on bed rest, apparently the best prescription for avoiding pre-mature birth. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital under the care of a team of nurses and doctors. At 35 weeks the doctor determined that the babies needed to come out as they were not growing at the expected rate. After their birth I spent 1 more week with them in the hospital, and they stayed for another week. Between me and the babies there was a total of 7 weeks of hospitalization. The total cost for me was zero. Was it absolutely necessary for me to have stayed in the hospital for 6 weeks I will never know. What I do know is that I have 2 beautiful healthy children and I would never have been able to afford the cost of the hospital care had I not had the Canadian medical system supporting me."
Kent James (Toronto, Ontario)
"My dad waited exactly 9 weeks after deciding that he wanted a knee replacement. My son has been treated for asthma since he was 18 months old. My mom is type 2 diabetic. None of them has ever had to wait for anything. None of them has ever had to worry about who would pay for anything. And none of them wants to pay a few less dollars in tax for the privilege of taking on those risks and responsibilities."
----
The Canadian system isn’t perfect. Do people die there from oversights or botched care? Of course!-- just like they do—to borrow Bill’s words—in top hospitals anywhere in the world. But what is more terrifying, apparently, to half of our senators, is that our northern neighbors’ government-managed semi-socialized system works. In fact, for most people most of the time, it works great. Oh, and did I mention the premiums? Dorthea’s costs her $54/month. ("[It] gets me EVERYTHING I need. The best care I can arrange for myself. I choose the doctor, the hospital, my treatment.") Anna’s is $114, for a family of four. That’s Canadian.
Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is theauthor of TheDark Side: How Evangelical Teachings Corrupt Love and Truth, and thefounder of www.WisdomCommons.org
Avatar...
I don't normally do movie reviews. But hell, it's my blog, and I'll write what I want.
I just saw the movie, Avatar. It was my gift to myself for finishing my last final exam. And yes, the movie is everything you've heard, and more. A film actually lived up to the hype. For once.
The one thing I'd heard about it was that it was similar to Dances With Wolves. And there are certainly obvious parallels with that story, as well as with the story of the holocaust of the American Indians. But what really struck me was how similar it was to lots of other movies we've seen before. Signourney Weaver plays a key role, except this time she's the alien who's invading a host body. Certainly her character is the same sort of hardass eco-friendly role she had when she starred in Gorillas in the Mist. And the mechanized robot machines which every Japanese Anime has used to make mere humans into supermen are eerily similar to the forklift robot that Ripley piloted in Alien 2, as well as those featured in The Matrix: Revolutions. The helicopter gunships are the twin-hooped, double-bladed VTOL variety that was seen in the movie The Incredibles on Syndrome's island, and the colorful jungle creatures that double as beasts to be ridden upon for recreation and war are a step up from the ones we saw in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. But really this is the same sort of tree-hugging love-thy-nature sort of plot that pits the machines of industry versus the serenity of nature. We've seen this before in movies like The Emerald Forest, Medicine Man, or Ferngully, The Last Rainforest. (Rubbish, all that. The "noble savage" is as much a myth as the superiority of civilization.) Plus, the plot centers upon the mining of a precious mineral (which the natives naturally happen to live right on top of) which is unforgivably called unobtanium -- a name which has always been a joke, even before it was used as the incredibly heat-resistant metal necessary to the plot of The Core, one of the worst sci-fi films of all time. (Come on! If you're gonna literally steal a plot element, at least have it be something respectable, like dilithium!)
Oh yes, and the alien planet this takes place on is called Pandora. Guess which box gets opened?
That being the case, this movie also goes places no other movie has gone before. First, it's amazing eye-candy! Not since TRON has there been this much neon light-show during a film. The flowers and mosses glow in the dark, and even the mushrooms light up if you touch them. The natives are ten-foot-tall, blue-skinned, elf-like lupine creatures who have powers of agility, vision, hearing and smelling which make the human world pale by comparison. They are humanoid, and so are simultaneously sexy yet eerie. Their hair is not just hair, but fibrous neural tissue that works almost like a USB port, allowing them to "plug in" to things like plants and animals. And here lies the crux of the plot, and the source of the film's name. Humans have figured out a way to interface an alien host body with a human mind. A human can, if genetically compatible, essentially interface into the alien host body's mind through something almost akin to a WiFi/DSL link, like something combining The Matrix with Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In fact, if you unplug the human (as happens several times during the film), the alien body simply goes limp. These alien bodies with human minds are called Avatars, and the general idea is for humans to use these alien shapes to establish friendly relations with the natives, study their culture, bring them civilization, and teach them English. Add to this a paraplegic soldier who's scientist of a twin brother got killed before he could use his Avatar. As such, the soldier gets a second chance to have his legs again by using the Avatar which was once assigned to his brother, despite his lack of academic training.
Well, by now, you can see the plot coming a mile away, so there's no harm in my spoiling anything -- it's completely telescoped. The crippled soldier gets lost in the woods, encounters the natives, lucks out in winning their favor, and is taken in to learn their ways and their culture. His teacher is the tribal princess, so you just know she ends up falling for him in a classic Romeo and Juliet rip off, and that sets the stage for the hurt and betrayal of it being discovered that his mission was to be on the inside and help plan for a military op all along. Naturally, he has a change of heart and a pang of conscience, and ends up fighting for the natives.
But perhaps the oddest thing is that there is a spiritual aspect to the story. The roots of all the plants and trees are networked through the roots, and since animals can interface with them, the planet is essentially one gigantic world-wide-web. It's hub is a grove where a willow-like tree dangles its glowing branches down, allowing people to interface with it, hear their ancestors through it, or even talk to it. The name for this dendritic deity is Eywa, a short-name which immediately calls Gaia to mind. And at one point, the soldier-turned-hero even prays to Her for a miracle in the forthcoming battle, saying, "The Sky People [humans] have no green on their world. They killed their mother." (Preachy! Can anyone say Pocahontas?) Whether this counts as an actual deity or some sort of Theodessic, Terrestrial Pantheism, I'll leave to the interpretation of the viewer.
One thing that isn't subject to interpretation: It's a damn good movie! Go see it!
Eric
I just saw the movie, Avatar. It was my gift to myself for finishing my last final exam. And yes, the movie is everything you've heard, and more. A film actually lived up to the hype. For once.
The one thing I'd heard about it was that it was similar to Dances With Wolves. And there are certainly obvious parallels with that story, as well as with the story of the holocaust of the American Indians. But what really struck me was how similar it was to lots of other movies we've seen before. Signourney Weaver plays a key role, except this time she's the alien who's invading a host body. Certainly her character is the same sort of hardass eco-friendly role she had when she starred in Gorillas in the Mist. And the mechanized robot machines which every Japanese Anime has used to make mere humans into supermen are eerily similar to the forklift robot that Ripley piloted in Alien 2, as well as those featured in The Matrix: Revolutions. The helicopter gunships are the twin-hooped, double-bladed VTOL variety that was seen in the movie The Incredibles on Syndrome's island, and the colorful jungle creatures that double as beasts to be ridden upon for recreation and war are a step up from the ones we saw in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. But really this is the same sort of tree-hugging love-thy-nature sort of plot that pits the machines of industry versus the serenity of nature. We've seen this before in movies like The Emerald Forest, Medicine Man, or Ferngully, The Last Rainforest. (Rubbish, all that. The "noble savage" is as much a myth as the superiority of civilization.) Plus, the plot centers upon the mining of a precious mineral (which the natives naturally happen to live right on top of) which is unforgivably called unobtanium -- a name which has always been a joke, even before it was used as the incredibly heat-resistant metal necessary to the plot of The Core, one of the worst sci-fi films of all time. (Come on! If you're gonna literally steal a plot element, at least have it be something respectable, like dilithium!)
Oh yes, and the alien planet this takes place on is called Pandora. Guess which box gets opened?
That being the case, this movie also goes places no other movie has gone before. First, it's amazing eye-candy! Not since TRON has there been this much neon light-show during a film. The flowers and mosses glow in the dark, and even the mushrooms light up if you touch them. The natives are ten-foot-tall, blue-skinned, elf-like lupine creatures who have powers of agility, vision, hearing and smelling which make the human world pale by comparison. They are humanoid, and so are simultaneously sexy yet eerie. Their hair is not just hair, but fibrous neural tissue that works almost like a USB port, allowing them to "plug in" to things like plants and animals. And here lies the crux of the plot, and the source of the film's name. Humans have figured out a way to interface an alien host body with a human mind. A human can, if genetically compatible, essentially interface into the alien host body's mind through something almost akin to a WiFi/DSL link, like something combining The Matrix with Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In fact, if you unplug the human (as happens several times during the film), the alien body simply goes limp. These alien bodies with human minds are called Avatars, and the general idea is for humans to use these alien shapes to establish friendly relations with the natives, study their culture, bring them civilization, and teach them English. Add to this a paraplegic soldier who's scientist of a twin brother got killed before he could use his Avatar. As such, the soldier gets a second chance to have his legs again by using the Avatar which was once assigned to his brother, despite his lack of academic training.
Well, by now, you can see the plot coming a mile away, so there's no harm in my spoiling anything -- it's completely telescoped. The crippled soldier gets lost in the woods, encounters the natives, lucks out in winning their favor, and is taken in to learn their ways and their culture. His teacher is the tribal princess, so you just know she ends up falling for him in a classic Romeo and Juliet rip off, and that sets the stage for the hurt and betrayal of it being discovered that his mission was to be on the inside and help plan for a military op all along. Naturally, he has a change of heart and a pang of conscience, and ends up fighting for the natives.
But perhaps the oddest thing is that there is a spiritual aspect to the story. The roots of all the plants and trees are networked through the roots, and since animals can interface with them, the planet is essentially one gigantic world-wide-web. It's hub is a grove where a willow-like tree dangles its glowing branches down, allowing people to interface with it, hear their ancestors through it, or even talk to it. The name for this dendritic deity is Eywa, a short-name which immediately calls Gaia to mind. And at one point, the soldier-turned-hero even prays to Her for a miracle in the forthcoming battle, saying, "The Sky People [humans] have no green on their world. They killed their mother." (Preachy! Can anyone say Pocahontas?) Whether this counts as an actual deity or some sort of Theodessic, Terrestrial Pantheism, I'll leave to the interpretation of the viewer.
One thing that isn't subject to interpretation: It's a damn good movie! Go see it!
Eric
Thursday, December 17, 2009
What's with the Republicans?
I was listening to the talking heads on the news last night, sniping at each other over the proposed health care bill which is currently trying to overcome its last hurdle in the Senate. Gone is the public option, as good as gone is the Medicare buy-in for people who are old enough to worry that their retirement portfolio might not be big enough yet. In place is the government forcing us to buy into insurance that may or may not be more affordable. So while I was listening to this bit of news being debated, and mulling it over, a question cropped up in my mind, and kept nagging and nagging at me -- because the question makes so much sense, and I don't hear anybody else asking it. Could it be that, as usual, I'm the only one to have thought the whole damned thing through? Well, maybe not, but I'm starting to think I've thought it over far better than the folks in the Senate have.
Here's the question that's been bugging me, and you tell me if it makes sense: With this new version of the bill, why are Republicans not overwhelmingly in favor of it?
Seriously! Imagine, just for a moment, the Republicans were in charge, and drafted a health care reform bill. What would it look like? I think the answer you'd come up with is -- EXACTLY LIKE THE HEALTH CARE BILL WE HAVE NOW!!!
I mean, no public option, no expansion of any role for government, government mandated customers for insurance companies... Is this not exactly the way Rush Limbaugh would have drafted a bill? So why on earth are Republicans not for this? Why are they still universally opposed to what the Democrats are doing? What's gotten into this topsy-turvey, bass-ackward world we're living in?
The best answer I can come up with is that Republicans are doing this for the humor value. It must be all they can do to sit on the Senate floor and not bust out laughing their asses off at how they've got the Dems doing their dirty work for them like a bunch of goddamned marionettes! And, I've gotta admit, it's pretty funny. I'd laugh, except the whole thing makes me feel sick.
(Crap, I hope I don't need a doctor, or I'm fucked.)
It could also be that they realize that if they do a 180 degree turn-around, that Democrats would snap out of their zombie-like trance and realize that they've been following the pied piper right out of town like a pack of rats. Besides, as long as they stay firmly opposed to whatever Democrats do, the perception will always be that Democrats are socializing healthcare (because that's what Democrats DO, isn't it?). So tea-parties continue to protest the handing over of healthcare to a communist agenda, oblivious to the fact that it's being clearly sacrificed to Almighty Indemnity.
L'avante garde!
Or maybe they're opposed to it because they're afraid that any bill that gets past the Senate, even something that merely guarantees bananas for monkeys, is likely to get a public option re-introduced to it when it's reconciled with the House bill.
Do we dare hope for that kind of a last-second touchdown? Given how this has gone so far, I'm not counting on it.
Eric
Here's the question that's been bugging me, and you tell me if it makes sense: With this new version of the bill, why are Republicans not overwhelmingly in favor of it?
Seriously! Imagine, just for a moment, the Republicans were in charge, and drafted a health care reform bill. What would it look like? I think the answer you'd come up with is -- EXACTLY LIKE THE HEALTH CARE BILL WE HAVE NOW!!!
I mean, no public option, no expansion of any role for government, government mandated customers for insurance companies... Is this not exactly the way Rush Limbaugh would have drafted a bill? So why on earth are Republicans not for this? Why are they still universally opposed to what the Democrats are doing? What's gotten into this topsy-turvey, bass-ackward world we're living in?
The best answer I can come up with is that Republicans are doing this for the humor value. It must be all they can do to sit on the Senate floor and not bust out laughing their asses off at how they've got the Dems doing their dirty work for them like a bunch of goddamned marionettes! And, I've gotta admit, it's pretty funny. I'd laugh, except the whole thing makes me feel sick.
(Crap, I hope I don't need a doctor, or I'm fucked.)
It could also be that they realize that if they do a 180 degree turn-around, that Democrats would snap out of their zombie-like trance and realize that they've been following the pied piper right out of town like a pack of rats. Besides, as long as they stay firmly opposed to whatever Democrats do, the perception will always be that Democrats are socializing healthcare (because that's what Democrats DO, isn't it?). So tea-parties continue to protest the handing over of healthcare to a communist agenda, oblivious to the fact that it's being clearly sacrificed to Almighty Indemnity.
L'avante garde!
Or maybe they're opposed to it because they're afraid that any bill that gets past the Senate, even something that merely guarantees bananas for monkeys, is likely to get a public option re-introduced to it when it's reconciled with the House bill.
Do we dare hope for that kind of a last-second touchdown? Given how this has gone so far, I'm not counting on it.
Eric
Monday, December 14, 2009
Fuck the Filibuster!
The Filibuster used to be done as a last resort for stopping legislation. It used to be that a Senator who resorted to it did so because he really, passionately felt that there was no other choice.
Those days are long gone.
Today, a filibuster is used to block anything and everything that the opposing party does if it happens to be in the majority. And that is done, not out of any principle based on sensible disagreements of opinion, but merely to prevent the other party from doing anything. Then, inevitably, it gets claimed in the next election that the party in power really hasn't done much of anything, and that you, the taxpayer, would be better off with the other party.
So what's highlighted this lately more than the healthcare debate? We started out with a full-fledged public option. That missed because it only had a 58% majority. It got paired back, still having public option, but less of it. That only had a 59% majority. Then it got paired back again, and again, we fell short with a 59% majority. Then it got paired back to the point where there was no public option at all, and not even an expension of Medicare unless you were 5 years older than it takes to join AARP! And now?
We're short by a mere 59% fucking majority!
Is anybody else sick of this goddamned game, yet? Is anybody else frustrated that 1% of the vote, named Joe Lieberman, gets to fuck up everything?
Okay, I know. The filibuster is a necessary tool to keep legislation from being made too easily. It's easy to imagine all kinds of scenarios where we would very much like to have a filibuster to keep disastrous legislation from going through, not the least of which was during the previous administration, when Bush would have literally thrown away all our civil rights to catch terrorists. But damn, isn't a 59% majority enough to pass anything anymore?
Part of the problem is the evaporation of the sensible middle. It used to be that there was a whole army of moderate Democrats and moderate Republicans who would get together in a dimly lit alcove room somewhere and say to each other, "Okay, guys, let's come up with a reasonable compromise, here." But those days are gone. It seems like the Democrats have only a few moderates, and the Republicans have told moderation to go fuck itself. As such, Democratic majorities have a hard time getting anything done, while Republican majorities tend to move slightly more quickly, but also tend to get nothing done. But without any moderates, its pretty much guaranteed that a few fuckheads are going to be able to jam up the entire process. We are currently witnessing that travesty.
This is why I'm writing this. The time has come to revisit the filibuster idea. 60% is too high. If the Senate needs 60% to get anything done, then nothing ever gets done. And in this day and age, that's unacceptable. Things are moving faster and faster. Faster transportation, faster technology, faster pace of world and current events. Gridlock is therefore death. A filibuster must therefore be able to be broken, and broken quickly.
So here's my battle cry: Fuck the Filibuster! I think it should be a MAJOR issue in the midterm elections to lower the filibuster break-vote from 60% down to 55%. I think every Senatorial candidate should be questioned about that issue, and nobody should be elected who answers, "No, I think 60% is fine." Fuck the Filibuster! The american people have spoken quite loudly about wanting a public option. DNA technology makes public option inevitable (as I've repeatedly pointed out), and if we put it off, then medical calamity will crush our economy as a result. FUCK THE FILIBUSTER! Fuck it now! If a 55% majority isn't reasonable, I don't know what is. FUCK THE FILIBUSTER!!!
Although I'd temporarily settle for legislation impeaching Joe Lieberman.
Eric
P.S. I'm DEAD serious! FUCK the Filibuster! I'd BETTER hear this on the campaign circuit in 2010!
Those days are long gone.
Today, a filibuster is used to block anything and everything that the opposing party does if it happens to be in the majority. And that is done, not out of any principle based on sensible disagreements of opinion, but merely to prevent the other party from doing anything. Then, inevitably, it gets claimed in the next election that the party in power really hasn't done much of anything, and that you, the taxpayer, would be better off with the other party.
So what's highlighted this lately more than the healthcare debate? We started out with a full-fledged public option. That missed because it only had a 58% majority. It got paired back, still having public option, but less of it. That only had a 59% majority. Then it got paired back again, and again, we fell short with a 59% majority. Then it got paired back to the point where there was no public option at all, and not even an expension of Medicare unless you were 5 years older than it takes to join AARP! And now?
We're short by a mere 59% fucking majority!
Is anybody else sick of this goddamned game, yet? Is anybody else frustrated that 1% of the vote, named Joe Lieberman, gets to fuck up everything?
Okay, I know. The filibuster is a necessary tool to keep legislation from being made too easily. It's easy to imagine all kinds of scenarios where we would very much like to have a filibuster to keep disastrous legislation from going through, not the least of which was during the previous administration, when Bush would have literally thrown away all our civil rights to catch terrorists. But damn, isn't a 59% majority enough to pass anything anymore?
Part of the problem is the evaporation of the sensible middle. It used to be that there was a whole army of moderate Democrats and moderate Republicans who would get together in a dimly lit alcove room somewhere and say to each other, "Okay, guys, let's come up with a reasonable compromise, here." But those days are gone. It seems like the Democrats have only a few moderates, and the Republicans have told moderation to go fuck itself. As such, Democratic majorities have a hard time getting anything done, while Republican majorities tend to move slightly more quickly, but also tend to get nothing done. But without any moderates, its pretty much guaranteed that a few fuckheads are going to be able to jam up the entire process. We are currently witnessing that travesty.
This is why I'm writing this. The time has come to revisit the filibuster idea. 60% is too high. If the Senate needs 60% to get anything done, then nothing ever gets done. And in this day and age, that's unacceptable. Things are moving faster and faster. Faster transportation, faster technology, faster pace of world and current events. Gridlock is therefore death. A filibuster must therefore be able to be broken, and broken quickly.
So here's my battle cry: Fuck the Filibuster! I think it should be a MAJOR issue in the midterm elections to lower the filibuster break-vote from 60% down to 55%. I think every Senatorial candidate should be questioned about that issue, and nobody should be elected who answers, "No, I think 60% is fine." Fuck the Filibuster! The american people have spoken quite loudly about wanting a public option. DNA technology makes public option inevitable (as I've repeatedly pointed out), and if we put it off, then medical calamity will crush our economy as a result. FUCK THE FILIBUSTER! Fuck it now! If a 55% majority isn't reasonable, I don't know what is. FUCK THE FILIBUSTER!!!
Although I'd temporarily settle for legislation impeaching Joe Lieberman.
Eric
P.S. I'm DEAD serious! FUCK the Filibuster! I'd BETTER hear this on the campaign circuit in 2010!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Tiger Woods: My Hero!
I never much liked golf. So I never really became much of a Tiger Woods fan.
Until now.
Seems like the entire media circus is drumming on about Tiger's marital infidelities, how big a scandal this is, and how this will cause his sponsors to drop him. Over and over it's played how big a negative impact this is upon his image, and his career.
Fucking why?!
Okay, so we all used to think he was a pretty clean-cut golfer, who was tops at his game (which he still is) and was ground-breaking as one of the only minorities to make it in a predominantly white sport. Turns out, with his father out of the way, he's become something of a playboy, flirting around and sometimes even sleeping around with supermodels.
I hate to always be the one to point out the obvious, but, GOOD! He's banging cover girls on the side! Bully for him! So would I if I had his money and his fame. (Notice I didn't say his good looks, since I think I have the edge there, especially for women who go for bald guys.)
And so what if he is, anyway? Do we naively think that Jack Nicklaus never had an affair? Do we really imagine that pro golfers don't screw around just as much as any other celebrity? I should hope that we're not that myopic, especially in this day and age. Arguably, since golfers hobknob around the country club circuit as professionals in a field where doctors and lawyers play the game for recreation, you would think that they would make it a regular habit of sleeping with the ugly rich men's trophy wives. Why the hell not?
This isn't the end of his career. Tiger's just a golfer, people. He's not a Republican politician.
Frankly, instead of hiding from it, or making statements to the press about how embarrassed and ashamed he is, and calling for privacy, I think Tiger should do exactly the opposite. He should set up an interview for Playboy magazine, and confess all. "Hell yeah, I slept with several supermodels!" he should tell them. "Aren't you jealous?" He should tell the magazine, how many, how often, and brag about it. His wife's as good as gone anyway, what's he got to lose? After that, he should be given the key to the Playboy Mansion, and told to have himself a good time. And in embracing his new playboy image, he'll find his career is as solid as ever, and his sponsors will want even more of him. Those sponsors that don't want him, well, they'll be replaced with other sponsors, won't they? Tiger's just too good a commodity to lose, unless some CEO is a damned fool.
So why is everyone so convinced this is a negative, especially Tiger? Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that he's seen by most people to be a ground-breaking figure for civil rights. He does for golf what Jackie Robinson did for baseball and Barack Obama did for politics. Right?
Well, almost. It's never been forgotten how Tiger appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and openly stated that he didn't really think of himself as black. (Gasps from the crowd.) He explained that his father was black, and that he was one quarter white and one quarter Phillippino. As such, the African-American community has never really seen him as an ideal hero. But he had such a clean-cut image that they put up with this blatant declaration of common sense to see him as one of their own anyway. Now that he's no longer clean-cut, it seems that the perception is that the African-American market might just turn its back on him.
You know what? If they do, fuck them! That's right, you heard me. How many complete shitheads and scumbags have African-Americans stood by over the years? From O.J. Simpson, to Kobe Bryant, to Barry Bonds, to Michael Vick, to Darrell Strawberry... the list goes on and on. Cheats, thugs, hoodlums, criminals, in some cases outright murderers... each one given a pass just because they could play a sport. How hypocritical to turn their back on Tiger Woods for the relatively mild quirk of merely boinking beltway broads? Remember Magic Johnson, and how he contracted AIDS because he was screwing fifteen cheap hookers a night? Magic wasn't abandoned. Tiger shouldn't be, either.
So he doesn't see himself as black. And, Oprah, neither should you! Michael Vick, you're not black either! Neither are you, Ray Lewis! The whole black/white thing was a LIE, cooked up by evil bastards who wanted an excuse to exploit their fellow human beings for slave labor. How DARE you fuckheads keep that ridiculous falsehood alive! That goes for you clowns in the media, too! The scientific fact is that we are all ONE HUMAN RACE! Period! We aren't different colors. We're different shades of the SAME color! It's high time our use of language stopped pretending that we're separate. It's high time that we recognized ourselves as the like-kindred we are.
If we look up to Thomas Jefferson as a hero, even though he fucked black slaves, then we should also look to Tiger Woods as a hero, even though he fucked white women who are not only not slaves, but could have any man they want. They wanted Tiger. Get over it.
So yeah, he's my new hero. I think he is to a lot of other people, too. The question now is, will he ever come to realize it?
Eric
Until now.
Seems like the entire media circus is drumming on about Tiger's marital infidelities, how big a scandal this is, and how this will cause his sponsors to drop him. Over and over it's played how big a negative impact this is upon his image, and his career.
Fucking why?!
Okay, so we all used to think he was a pretty clean-cut golfer, who was tops at his game (which he still is) and was ground-breaking as one of the only minorities to make it in a predominantly white sport. Turns out, with his father out of the way, he's become something of a playboy, flirting around and sometimes even sleeping around with supermodels.
I hate to always be the one to point out the obvious, but, GOOD! He's banging cover girls on the side! Bully for him! So would I if I had his money and his fame. (Notice I didn't say his good looks, since I think I have the edge there, especially for women who go for bald guys.)
And so what if he is, anyway? Do we naively think that Jack Nicklaus never had an affair? Do we really imagine that pro golfers don't screw around just as much as any other celebrity? I should hope that we're not that myopic, especially in this day and age. Arguably, since golfers hobknob around the country club circuit as professionals in a field where doctors and lawyers play the game for recreation, you would think that they would make it a regular habit of sleeping with the ugly rich men's trophy wives. Why the hell not?
This isn't the end of his career. Tiger's just a golfer, people. He's not a Republican politician.
Frankly, instead of hiding from it, or making statements to the press about how embarrassed and ashamed he is, and calling for privacy, I think Tiger should do exactly the opposite. He should set up an interview for Playboy magazine, and confess all. "Hell yeah, I slept with several supermodels!" he should tell them. "Aren't you jealous?" He should tell the magazine, how many, how often, and brag about it. His wife's as good as gone anyway, what's he got to lose? After that, he should be given the key to the Playboy Mansion, and told to have himself a good time. And in embracing his new playboy image, he'll find his career is as solid as ever, and his sponsors will want even more of him. Those sponsors that don't want him, well, they'll be replaced with other sponsors, won't they? Tiger's just too good a commodity to lose, unless some CEO is a damned fool.
So why is everyone so convinced this is a negative, especially Tiger? Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that he's seen by most people to be a ground-breaking figure for civil rights. He does for golf what Jackie Robinson did for baseball and Barack Obama did for politics. Right?
Well, almost. It's never been forgotten how Tiger appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and openly stated that he didn't really think of himself as black. (Gasps from the crowd.) He explained that his father was black, and that he was one quarter white and one quarter Phillippino. As such, the African-American community has never really seen him as an ideal hero. But he had such a clean-cut image that they put up with this blatant declaration of common sense to see him as one of their own anyway. Now that he's no longer clean-cut, it seems that the perception is that the African-American market might just turn its back on him.
You know what? If they do, fuck them! That's right, you heard me. How many complete shitheads and scumbags have African-Americans stood by over the years? From O.J. Simpson, to Kobe Bryant, to Barry Bonds, to Michael Vick, to Darrell Strawberry... the list goes on and on. Cheats, thugs, hoodlums, criminals, in some cases outright murderers... each one given a pass just because they could play a sport. How hypocritical to turn their back on Tiger Woods for the relatively mild quirk of merely boinking beltway broads? Remember Magic Johnson, and how he contracted AIDS because he was screwing fifteen cheap hookers a night? Magic wasn't abandoned. Tiger shouldn't be, either.
So he doesn't see himself as black. And, Oprah, neither should you! Michael Vick, you're not black either! Neither are you, Ray Lewis! The whole black/white thing was a LIE, cooked up by evil bastards who wanted an excuse to exploit their fellow human beings for slave labor. How DARE you fuckheads keep that ridiculous falsehood alive! That goes for you clowns in the media, too! The scientific fact is that we are all ONE HUMAN RACE! Period! We aren't different colors. We're different shades of the SAME color! It's high time our use of language stopped pretending that we're separate. It's high time that we recognized ourselves as the like-kindred we are.
If we look up to Thomas Jefferson as a hero, even though he fucked black slaves, then we should also look to Tiger Woods as a hero, even though he fucked white women who are not only not slaves, but could have any man they want. They wanted Tiger. Get over it.
So yeah, he's my new hero. I think he is to a lot of other people, too. The question now is, will he ever come to realize it?
Eric
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