Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Fox 6 News' Stephanie Grady Needs To Clean Up Her Act!


I just sent the following angry letter to Fox 6 News in Milwaukee. I could give background to the letter, but it really speaks for itself.


Name: Eric Hildeman

Email: CarlSaganJr@aol.com

Phone: 4145249629

Comment: I wish to voice my extreme disappointment at the Fox 6 News Team's coverage of the Donald Trump Rally taking place tonight (9/28) at the Waukesha Expo Center. The story was covered professionally until the end of the segment, at which point Stephanie Grady's voice was clearly heard to say, "Hopefully, his message will resonate."
Are you kidding me?! A more clear-cut example of media bias is difficult to come by, even by today's low standards. I would like to sternly warn Fox 6 that this sort of unprofessional behavior cannot be tolerated by a public that relies on objective reporting to be properly informed. May I please remind you that far greater journalists have been fired for far less?
I seldom get my local news outside of Internet sources, these days. Now I remember why! Please act more like professionals!

Eric Hildeman

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Monday, September 26, 2016

Trump Is The Antichrist. No, Really!


Perhaps you've heard rumors that Donald Trump is the Antichrist among certain Biblical scholars? Well, it's time for a confession.

I was one of them.

As a former student at North Central University in Ministerial Studies (what they called "Pastoral Studies" back then, and we're talking 1991), I have a pretty good insight into the Bible and how people interpret it. As such, I decided that I would troll the Christian community I once knew as my second family, and promote the idea that Donald Trump is the Antichrist incarnate.

But let me first address some criticisms. Was that deceptive of me? You bet. Was it politically motivated? Of course! Yet the Antichrist is clearly depicted in Revelation as coming with signs and wonders. One of those would clearly be mind control, as so garishly depicted in the Left Behind novels. So when people support Donald Trump, in spite of his being so obviously a despicable person (dare I say, "deplorable?") one can only think that he, as the Antichrist, must be working his Satanic ju-ju to put the mental whammy on people. And keep in mind, I'm an atheist and I find that notion compelling!

If there is such a thing as an Antichrist, Trump is clearly it! Because if an atheist can be brought to the verge of being a believer just by seeing Trump's mind-controlling powers, you can bet your ass there's something seriously fucked up going on with the Trump candidacy!

"But what about the Rapture?" you ask. Well, there's two End Times interpretations on that. Three, technically. One is that the Rapture will take place first, and then the Tribulation will follow as the Antichrist reigns for 1000 years. That's the version popularized by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. But there's an equally plausible counter-interpretation of Scripture that says it happens the other way around! First the Antichrist appears, and then the Rapture takes place 1000 years later. If this is correct...

Oh, shit, hold on to your Christian butts! Donald Trump is here. And he's deceived the faithful, just as the book of Revelation said he would!

So don't criticize me for being deceptive. I wanted to see just how well the idea would go over among Christians. In other words, I was only as deceptive once as Donald Trump has been thousands of times over.

And as it turned out, those who refuse to flinch at people rising from the dead, having bread and wine turn into actual flesh and blood, and think enough faith can enable one to walk on liquid water, refuse to accept that Donald Trump is Nicolae Carparthia.

For about a year now, I've adopted the fake Internet persona of John Daniel Elijafor, whose resume includes, like me, a stint at North Central, and close ties with the Christian community of Milwaukee. Writing as John Daniel, I made the case that Donald Trump is the Antichrist, both by fitting his name into the 616 numerological jargon, and by connecting him to Biblical prophecy. If you want to read the entire blog posts I made, and the arguments I used. You can click here:

Bible Prophecy And Today's News

666 vs 616, Which One Is True?

Characteristics Of The Antichrist

The Antichrist Revealed!

Now, Christians were not fooled by this, and that's to their credit. It's so amazing to me how those who are so gullible regarding how bloodshed is required for atonement are so quick to reject more plausible forms of bullshit. But then, that's exactly my point! If Christians are so naturally skeptical, even of ideas that make sense within their own religion, why can't they be more skeptical of Donald Trump, the most obvious con-man since Joseph Smith?

Oh yeah. The last Republican candidate was suckered in by that guy, too. And Christians somehow didn't care then, either.

I made the connection with the word "drumpf" and Trump's original family name, and I confess that this was made up out of whole cloth. But the part about signs and wonders indicating that Trump is the Antichrist was from the heart. Seriously, I find that idea disturbing! As an unbeliever!

And if Trump suffers a head wound, and miraculously recovers from it, I may just repent!


Eric

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Friday, September 23, 2016

How To Vote Well With Only 10 Minutes Of Research


Ever since 2008, I've posted my rules for undecided voters. We all have busy schedules, and sometimes it's helpful to have certain guidelines for how to vote when it's time to go to the polls, and we've done little or no research. Mind you, if you are such a person, you're an ass, because you've shirked your responsibility as a citizen, but I'd rather people vote with these rules in mind than not vote at all. Here they are, back by popular demand.

If you don't know who to vote for, follow these general rules:

Rule #1: All things being equal, vote against the incumbent. [Note: I, of course, argue that, in the case of 2016, all things are not equal, and that the case against Orange Julius is a slam-dunk. But, this is rule #1, and I must report it faithfully.]

Rule #2: All things being equal, vote for the female. If there is no female running, go back to rule #1. If the female happens to be an incumbent, proceed to Rule #3.

Rule #3: When still in doubt, find the biggest moron you know and ask who he's voting for. Then vote the other way. [Note: Not only are all the biggest morons I know are voting for Trump, but Trump IS the biggest moron I know.]

Rule #4: Conversely, if you're still undecided after all that, find the smartest person you know and ask who she's voting for. Then vote the same way.

Rule #5: If, after all that, you're still not sure, stay home. You're too much of a moron yourself to vote.

Rule #6: Vote third party if you happen to live in a non-swing state. If you live in a clearly decided state, such as New York, Illinois or California, voting for a third party helps build that third party up for future elections. However, if you do live in a swing state, don't even THINK of voting third party. That way your vote always matters the most no matter what. [Note: This one is new, but it's a good one.]

Those are the voting rules! I welcome feedback on these!


Eric

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Thursday, September 22, 2016

Trump's Campaign Letter To My Dead Mom


My mom got a letter yesterday, which is odd, since she's been dead for almost a year. Most contacts are aware that my mom is deceased, and even the ones that send a few items in her name, such as Wild Birds Unlimited, are aware that she's passed on, and only keep sending coupon items in her name for convenience's sake.

Back in 2010, I moved back home to take care of my mother. Her ability to speak was impaired, and my dad and I began taking her calls. So all calls we received from the Republican Party were turned away, and we kept telling callers to remove my mom from their lists. By 2012, my mother's Alzheimer's disease had progressed to the point where she was completely unable to speak for more than a year, and was only barely ambulatory. Calls and donation letters were again rebuffed that election year, and my family repeatedly told the Republican Party to remove her name from their lists. By 2014, my mother was in nursing home care, and callers were yet again told to remove her from their lists. Letters were sent back, and by this time we were starting to get rather cross.

But that apparently wasn't enough. Political mailing lists are slow to change. And Republicans are so retrograde that they are even slower to change on top of that. Thus it was that the newest Republican candidate sent a fund raising letter to what must have been the oldest name on his list.

My mom was a Reagan Republican. She gave donations generously from the mid 90's through 2006. She may have even donated a little bit in 2008, when she was beginning to show serious symptoms of being impaired. But even if she remained a Republican after that point, I highly doubt she would have embraced the clown-college nonsense that passes for conservatism today. It's highly unlikely that she would have voted for a Mormon four years ago, much less the Orange banshee that thinks he's a serious Republican candidate this year. But after four, possibly five, election cycles where Republicans have received no money from this woman, and have been repeatedly told to not contact, the fact that my mother was worth another 47 cents to send one more letter is a truly remarkable sign of utter desperation.

Let's read some of Trump's bullshit, shall we?

Dear Fellow American,

The one thing Hillary Clinton fears above all else is this...

...that Republicans will unite and rally against her.

Because if we do come together and unify behind me and or entire GOP ticket, there is NO WAY she will ever be President of the United States.

It really is that simple.

I have received more votes in Republican primaries than any other candidate in history.

Wait! Stop there. Yes, he did receive more votes. But this is due to remarkably high turnout, and that high turnout showed up to vote against him as much as for him.

Trump never won a majority in any state until New York. Going into that contest, he had barely 40% of the vote, which means 60% of all Republicans wanted someone else! Even after Cruz and Kasich dropped out after Indiana, and Trump ran unopposed the rest of the way, he still did not get a majority of the Republican vote. When everything was counted, only 47% of Republicans ever voted for him. That means 53%, even after he went unopposed in the vote-bonanza state of California, wanted someone other than Donald Trump! The majority of Republicans are anti-Trump.

So stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

There is a surging groundswell to end the Obama era [News flash: the Obama era is ending no matter what.], kick the establishment elite to the curb [Never mind that Trump is part of the establishment elite.], and set America on a new course.

Okay, sinking the ship counts as a new course. Down instead of forward. I'll grant you that.

Millions of voters are rallying to "Make America Great Again!"

And we can do it too, if we all join together right now.

Whether you were with me all along, or joined the Trump Train recently...

...it is time to unify the Republican Party so we can stop Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and their Left-Wing special interest allies from taking total control of Washington, D.C.

[Total control? Don't we wish! We could, but gerrymandering has stolen billions of votes before we even get started.]

That's why I have created the Trump Make America Great Again Committee... a joint effort led by the Donald J. Trump for President campaign and the Republican National Committee to make sure our GOP ticket has the funds needed to win this November.

Hillary Rodham Clinton and the Democrats' single-minded goal is to lock-in the Obama agenda permanently and to expand it even further.

* They won't be satisfied with ObamaCare until health care is 100% government run.
[Damn straight! Death to the tyranny of the insurance industry!]

* They won't be happy with Common Core until Washington bureaucrats run every school in America.
[Huh? Since when were Democrats campaigning on Common Core? And it's Reformed Math, not Common Core, which is the joke in social media.]

* They won't rest until every illegal immigrant is given complete amnesty and the right to vote as a hardened, life-long Democrat.
[Hyperbole much? And most Latinos are socially conservative. Many are Catholic. If you want to lament about how they won't vote Republican, how about you stop arresting their families and pissing on their rights?]

*They won't stand up for America's interests overseas until they've apologized for America's power and greatness.
[Huh? What the fuck is this bullshit?]

* And they won't stop demonizing their opponents until political correctness replaces free speech.
[Since when do you need to 'demonize' someone who is already a demon? And it has been conservatives, not liberals, who have gagged free speech by buying up all the airwaves and pummeling people with non-stop conservative hatred. How's that for political correctness?]

I say, enough is enough!

[Please! Stop! My whipping boy can take no more!]

My friend, I promise you we're going to Make America Great Again.

I'm a successful businessman because I'm not afraid to roll up my sleeves and get to work. [Please! If you're a successful businessman, I'm a Kardashian. You've never rolled up a sleeve in your life.] To be a successful President, you've got to be smart and you've got to be tough. You've got to be able to bring smart people together and use your leverage to make a great deal.

I'm going to do that for the American people.

[The white American people.]

From Day One, we're going to make real changes that will Make America Great Again.

We're going to build the wall on our southern border to stop illegal immigration. The simple fact is: we don't have a country if we don't have a border.

[We can have a border without a wall, you know. What are we, Jericho?]

And we're going to get Mexico to pay for it, because deep down, Mexico knows they're better off with us happy. [Head slap!] Right now, our policies make them think we're happy, but we're not happy. We're upset about all this illegal immigration, and we will use our leverage to get them to pay for this wall.

[What leverage? I can't believe this zombie lie hasn't been shot in the head, yet.]

On Day One, I'm going to end President Obama's terrible executive orders that have attacked our Second Amendment rights and gutted our border security?

[Huh?]

We're going to Make America Great Again by creating great jobs One of the things I'm most proud of is creating jobs. I know firsthand, there's nothing like helping people by getting them great jobs.

When it comes to trade, we'er going to start winning again. Right now we're losing We're losing hundreds of billions of dollars to China and billions to Japan, Vietnam and India. Mexico is beating us at the border and at trade. This will stop.

Crooked Hillary and her crowd will say, "Trump will start a trade war." But the truth is, her husband signed the worst trade deal ever. It is called NAFTA, and now these countries are in a trade war with us and they are beating us so badly.

[Really? Because the economy has been looking up lately, and it hasn't really had a negative trend since Obama took office.]

We are losing millions of jobs, tens of thousands of plants, and thousands of companies. It is really discouraging when great American companies like Nabisco, Carrier, Ford and Pfizer take their jobs and their profits overseas.

[Ford debunked this one. Nice try.]

Right now, there's no incentive for companies to stay here. We will change that. There will be consequences. We're not going to keep losing.

We're going to Make America Great Again by making our military so big, so strong and so powerful, nobody will mess with us. We will get rid of ISIS -- FAST! -- and we will have great relations with many, many, many foreign countries, as long as they understand it is a two-way street.

[Nukes so fast, you'll freak.]

Very importantly, we will take great care of our veterans. They've been treated so badly under the Obama regime and that will change.

[Great. Tell Republicans to stop opposing veterans bills so Obama can sign them.]

Of course, Crooked Hillary and her extreme liberal allies hate me. [So do your fellow Republicans, you dolt.] Right now, they are laying their plans to tear me down with the most vicious, brutal, and expensive advertising campaign our nation has ever witnessed. And their plan is to take down every other Republican candidate along with me.

I've seen what she's capable of saying and doing, and I won't put anything past her.

[Good!]

And that is why I am writing to you today.

I won the Republican primary by self-funding my own campaign. [Bullshit!] But in the General Election, I can't do it alone.

This is the first letter I've sent during this campaign asking for financial help. But it isn't just for me; I'm asking you to give your financial support to the Trump Make America Great Again Committee.

This vital project is a joint effort led by the Donald J. Trump for President campaign and the Republican National Committee to make sure our GOP ticket has the funds needed to win this November.

Our Party's candidates from county courthouses on up to Congressional, Senate, and gubernatorial candidates rely on a strong, well-funded operation to provide essential campaign services we all need to win.

So please join me by signing and returning the enclosed Pledge of Support today.

And when you do, I hope you will include a generous campaign contribution of $35, $50, $100, $250, $500 or $1000 to help our Party win back the White House and elect Republicans up and down the ticket this November.

Your gift today will be immediately put to work supporting our Get-Out-The-Vote and absentee ballot programs, as well as funding volunteer training in every targeted county that is vital to electing Republicans at every level.

Your investement will go a long way toward helping me and other Republican candidates overcome Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and their far-left special interests whose multi-billion dollar war chest is just waiting to be unleashed to rip us apart with the most crooked scorched-earth campaign you've ever seen.

[Pot, meet kettle.]

Whatever amount you can send is.... [blah, blah, blah, I'm skipping this part].

You know, some people -- mostly liberals -- criticized me for the tough campaign we ran in the primary. But I play to win, and we won. Now we need to join together and defeat one of the most corrupt, crooked, establishment politicians in history, Hillary Clinton, and her rubber-stamp Democrat ticket.

Our theme is very simple: Make America Great Again. We will Make America Great Again. [Yeah, we got it the first time.] We will start winning again. You will be so proud of how we turn around this country so very, very soon.

Please be a part of this amazing movement.

God bless you and God bless the United States of America.

Sincerely yours,

Donald J. Trump.


In response, I enclosed my reply, moneyless, and wrote the following on the donation slip in red Sharpie:

Sandra Hildeman is deceased. Please remove from your mailing list.
Oh, and BTW, fuck you for insulting my dead mother with this shit!

Sincerely,

Eric Hildeman


(Just for good measure, I drew a Hitler mustache on Trump's picture.)


Eric

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Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Trump Sacrifices To Satan, Polls Increase


In a dramatic scene, Donald Trump sacrificed a baby in patronage to Satan last Monday. "All hail, Satan!" he cried, and then threw the baby upon the hot coals of a fiery altar. As the black smoke rose into heaven, several people caught the incident on their smart phones and posted it to YouTube. The identity of the baby was unknown.

As soon as the videos went viral, Trump's approval ratings jumped 5%.

Donald Trump made the sacrifice while doing a campaign swing through southern California. On his way through Los Angeles, he stopped by the Satanic Temple and paid his homage there. But when confronted by reporters regarding the heinous act, he flatly denied it.

"I made no sacrifice to Satan," he said. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"But we have you on tape!" reporters asked him. "It happened just a little while ago!"

"No, no," he insisted. "This is the first I've heard of it." His security detail then quickly stepped in, and Trump was escorted away from the press.

Trump's surrogates quickly stepped in on Meet the Press afterward. Governor Chris Christie insisted Trump has no affinity whatsoever with Satan.

"He never did that," he told Chuck Todd. "He made no sacrifices. He doesn't need to make sacrifices. He's too wealthy for that."

"But you also told us that he didn't perpetuate the birtherism lie after 2011." Chuck Todd pointed out.

"That's right, he didn't," answered Christie. "I already made a statement about that."

"Which was also wrong," said Chuck.

"That's your opinion," he said.

When pressed for details, Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway also denied the Satanic sacrifice. "Donald would never do that. I've come to know Donald very well, and I can unequivocally say that he is the most Christian man I've ever met."

"Who happens to engage in Satanic activities on the side?" asked Wolf Blitzer on The Situation Room last night.

"Well, what Christian hasn't done a little of that?" Conway replied.

Reporters at Reuters worked with Gallup to determine what effect, if any, Trump's sacrifice of a baby to Satan might have. The results were interesting.

"It's all fake," said one Trump supporter. "It's part of the media and Hollywood conspiracy to smear Mr. Trump and make him look like a Satanist."

"I'll bet it was all done with a body double and special effects," one woman said. "It's amazing what they can do with CGI these days."

Trump's next campaign event will be hosted by the NRA at Columbine High School, Jefferson County, Colorado.


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Monday, September 19, 2016

It's Not 'Okay' To Vote For Trump


In a normal election year. It would be okay to overlook our political differences just to get on with day-to-day life. I mean, I hated George W. Bush, but I shopped at businesses that supported Bush, I didn't avoid coworkers who were Republican, and I enjoyed friendly debates with them.

This term is different. This time, the Republican party has selected a candidate so hideous, so horrifying, that I cannot help but vote with my conscience and my pocketbook as well as at the voting booth.

I'm deadly serious. If I hear you are a Trump supporter, I'll boycott your business! I will refuse to work for you. I will refuse to have anything to do with you. Even family members of mine will be ostracized if they vote Trump. If you are a Trump supporter, you are shunned!

And I am not alone!

Trump isn't like Hitler. He IS Hitler! The parallels are obvious! And that this could possibly happen in America is an especially low insult.

And supporting him is not okay! You Trump voters will NOT be forgiven for this! Ever!

So that's our stand. Yes, I said, 'our.' We, the responsible citizens of the United States, stand unified against you. We say that any Trump voter is Anathema, and has given up any true claim at being a true American.

There are real world consequences for voting for Trump that will sting you for the rest of your life. If you voted for Trump, you will lose a significant percentage of your business, forever. If you vote for him, you will lose family! You will lose face! You will, potentially, lose so much more.

I've systematically debunked all the misconceptions about Hillary. If you don't buy them, that's okay. If you think Hillary is Satan, that's okay. You don't have to vote for her.

But you DO have to never vote for Trump. That's a hill I'm willing to die on!


Eric

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Saturday, September 17, 2016

Trump And Oz


There was quite a spectacle on the Dr. Oz show last Thursday. Donald Trump appeared on the show to demonstrate the world he's healthy. And what a pair they made in front of the camera!

One of them is a sleazy, unethical businessman who will say anything to make money. The other is Donald Trump.

Seriously, dude? You went on the Doctor Oz show to demonstrate you're healthy?

Never mind that the new medical statement comes from the same kooky gastroenterologist who wrote the previous one. Never mind that it really tells us nothing new, or indeed anything whatsoever. Appearing on the Dr. Oz show to demonstrate your health is akin to appearing on The Ozbournes to demonstrate your sanity, or Keeping Up With The Kardashians to prove that you're chaste.

As doctors go, Oz can't get much worse. He has repeatedly promoted products that are not only not healthy, they are downright harmful! He has abandoned his hypocratic oath to endorse any so-called "health" product that is willing to meet his high endorsement price. It would be one thing if he were pushing products that were merely homeopathic crap. Who cares about frauds who hawk sugar pills? But he has pushed for things that actively damage the bodies of his viewing audience. He takes healthy people, and makes them sick! There is no better definition of the word "quack" than Dr. Oz!

How bad does it have to get when the most prestigious medical scientists want him dismissed as vice president of Columbia University's prestigious department of surgery, when he doesn't even do anything there? How bad does it have to get when a Senate panel blasted him for promoting a "miracle" weight loss product that didn't work? If there's one thing politicians know, it's fakery! And when they call someone out on it who isn't running against them, it's a pretty good bet that it's a special level of low.

His show should be on QVC, not ABC.

And yet Oz and Trump are similar creatures. They both lie for a living. They are both fakes of television, and they both put showmanship ahead of professional integrity.

No wonder Trump chose him to deal with a "health" issue.

As a result, we still know nothing about Trump's health. And although Hillary has been less than immediately forthcoming on that subject either, we at least know something about her health with certainty. Trump, by contrast, could drop dead of a heart attack tomorrow for all we know.

We can only hope.

Donald has committed a few hundred gaffs so far this election cycle. But in my opinion, this is the worst one. Simply appearing on the same stage as Dr. Oz shows that he is a man without scruples, without morals, without integrity.

Just like Dr. Oz himself.


Eric

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