Thursday, July 8, 2010

It's Hot, Hot, Hot!

Have you seen the temperatures along the East Coast yesterday? From D.C., to Philly, to New York and everywhere else along the Colonial Corridor, temperatures soared over 100 degrees.

Yet just last winter, the Eastern seaboard was socked with so much snow that the media was giving it special names. "Snowmageddon" and "Snowpocalypse" were terms thrown about. And with them, were all the conservative pundits jumping on the news story as an opportunity to attack global warming. Right-wing hack after right-wing hack got on the air and said things like, "Does anyone even take global warming seriously anymore?" or, "This global warming stuff really sounds ridiculous right about now, doesn't it?"

Yeah? How'dya like me now?

Look, back then I pointed out how climate has a saw-tooth pattern, and that extremes in temperature or weather at any one given point should not be taken as representative of an overall trend. I reminded everyone how vacuous an argument it was to discount global warming base on a single weather pattern. So it would be equally invalid of me to say that global warming is confirmed by this current heat-wave which is making New York feel like the Big Baked Apple.

But, the conservatives started this line of reasoning. So, now that their own argument has backfired on them, I have prepared a statement which I would like to make on behalf of every climatologist and science-minded citizen who knew what they were talking about the whole time when they raised the alarm over global warming. My statement follows:

Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, NYAH!!!

Okay, so I'm being facetious. But it's hard not to be. When conservatives like Sean Hannity,Rush Limbaugh, and especially Michael Savage embarrass themselves this badly, how can one not take advantage? Seriously, we just have to rub it in their faces! There's being stupid, there's imbacilic, there's moronic, there's being a straight-up dumbass, and somewhere beneath that is the knuckle-dragging, gorilla-brained idiocy that conservatives displayed during the snowstorm of 2010, dubbed, "Snowmageddon."

So what do we call this heatwave? It should have a snazzy name too, shouldn't it? How about, "The Heat Bowl" or "The Great Eastern Bake Off"? "The World's Largest Sweat-Lodge?" I'm open to ideas.

Enjoy the hot-seat, you myopic neocon liars, out there. You earned it!