Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Entertaining Entertainment.

Ah, yes, it's that wonderful time of year when entertainment gets, well, entertaining. The nominees for the Oscars have been released. Not surprisingly, Avatar is the odds-on favorite to win. It would be the first time a sci-fi film would be the winner, to which I say, about fucking time, and a big, fat middle finger to those who didn't nominate Empire Strikes Back. But there really should be no surprise. Avatar has all the hallmarks of a winning film: It has a former lead trying to restore an acting career, it has a maverick director, it has a plot which is about as predictable as Titanic, and, most importantly, it meets the minimum three-hour-long requirement for oscar-worthy films. I'd complain about the latter with a witty statement, something which points out how I would need to go see a gerontologist after the film because I'd developed arthritis sometime after scene 177, but honestly, I can't complain about the length of the film if I've paid $8 to see it. Seriously, for $8 I should be able to use the theater as a make-shift hotel room for those long road trips! Actually, I doubt I can even joke about that, because it's probably not far off in the future, at the rate we're going. It will cost less to take a hooker to a Motel 6 than it will to go see Avatar 3. One might as well walk out to the concession stand, grab a refill on popcorn, and a clean towel for the in-house shower.

But we've also had the Superbowl! Ah yes, and a very entertaining (Who dat?!) time it was, with a (Who dat?!) nice game which ended with a (Who dat?!)... Oh, fine! I submit to my inner voice cheering for the Saints! That's right, SAINT'S! As in, 'Saint Peyton Manning's year! Ho, ho! WHO DAT say dey were gon' beat 'dem Saints?!

Of course, that also means we have Superbowl TV ads -- also known as the one time out of the year ad writers do their damned jobs. Soon after, those same writers will go back to their endless games of Halo, World of Warcraft, and their cheezy poofs, leaving the rest of us to suffer through their endlessly repeated work all during the long baseball season. I deeply desire vengeance upon them for this, but all I can do is wish them high cholesterol.

And then we have people all over our great nation sitting on the edge of their seats, counting the seconds down for the very latest episode of Lost. I'd say something about that but, I, well, um, lost it.

Anyway, I get my permanent internet hook up back tomorrow, and then, there's no stopping me from turning my scalding gaze upon the deepest recessive corners upon the world! Entertainers, be warned!



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