Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tea Party Convention & Lots Of Other Stuff

So much yet to talk about. I mentioned how much there was in my last blog post, and so much more worth blogging about has happened since. It's a little bit like the rat race my school studies have been lately -- I'm constantly playing catch-up.

For example, I've realized that now is the worst possible time to buy gold. Seriously! You can't turn on any conservative program, radio or television, without getting bombarded with advertisers exhorting people to buy gold. The idea of course, is that Obama's taking us all to Hell in a rather oversized handbasket, and that means that only those who own gold will have any real money during the forewarned apocalypse. But truly, the signs of economic recovery are getting stronger. The 2010 census is about to begin, which will put tens of thousands of inner city youth and vacationing college students to work, clearing up the job market so much that not even illegal Mexicans will be able to depress it. And with the President willing to enact a spending freeze in the years to come, the dollar will be secure, especially as wind and solar jobs begin to emerge. The mighty Toyota has fallen -- oops! Sorry, I meant to say, sped on by. That is, unable to stop it's downward P.R. trend, or put the brakes on its increasingly negative image. You couldn't have gift-wrapped the opportunity better for GM! It will be nice to actually export American cars again.

So buying gold right now, while the price of it is artificially inflated by the sky-is-falling mentality of gullible conservatives, is stupid. The price of gold has nowhere to go but DOWN, and those who are foolish enough to invest heavily in gold will find themselves financially issued a balloon of lead. On the other hand, dealers in gold will be, well, golden.

One of the other things that I wanted to talk about was the Tea-Party convention, which largely was comprised of neocon hacks who attacked Barack Obama for using a teleprompter -- while themselves, well, using a teleprompter! (Sometimes you can't even make it up!) Everyone noticed that Sarah Palin had levied this same teleprompter insult against our Trophy-President, despite having had clearly written her notes onto her hand! Now, seriously, folks, THIS is the person some people would feel would make a better president than Obama? This chica who can't even invest in ONE 3 x 5 notecard?!?

When I observed how the crowd gathered seemed to really love this woman beyond measure, and simultaneously saw just how grey-haired this crowd was, it dawned on me what this movement truly is. It's the return of the 1994 backlash voter-bloc known as the "angry, white male." Yes, their nominal leader is a female, but they themselves are mostly old men who have deluded themselves into thinking that they still have enough testosterone left in their shriveled gonads to start one last fight. And let's face it, if there's one thing Sarah Palin can do, it's make testosterone flow! She's their Great White Hope; the symbol that their contingent might not be so dead or dying that it must settle for an Arizona senator who's too old and sick to dare attempt a sun-tan.

Or be so desperate that it must cast its lot with a Mormon.

Or rely a former vice president who's cardiovascular system is so coagulated that he's just recently survived his fifth heart attack.

Just as an aside, let's think about that for a minute. His FIFTH heart attack! Dick Cheney had his first heart attack when he was in his 30's! (That's what you get for chumming with tobacco lobbyists.) Such a feat is truly amazing, especially when one considers just how much better off our nation would have been without him. The Hand of Providence has given him every possible opportunity to utter an onomonopaetic amphibian word, check out early, and in so doing, spare us all the skillful sweeps of his wrecking ball. But damn it all, that bastard keeps right on surviving! He's worse than Fidel Castro that way! I could credit this refusal to kick the proverbial fluid receptacle to some sort of stubbornness on his part, but upon more sober reflection, I must concede that we really shouldn't be surprised. You see, Cheney, much like Fidel, HAS government-paid health insurance! And has benefitted from it for decades!

Back to the Tea-Party convention, I noticed something else (besides the amazing lack of melanin in the audience). With all the irrational cries of socialism and near-shriek-level liberalism-bashing, I came to realize that nearly everyone in the audience almost certainly has read the entire Left Behind series by Tim LaHaye. Which prompts me to issue a challenge to Tea-Partiers everywhere: Just fucking admit it! Come on, admit it! You believe Obama is the Antichrist! You think he's Nicolae! You think the reason he won't produce his birth certificate is because it documents the birthmark in the shape of a "666" on his ass! You're already looking for some former airline pilot to lead an underground movement for when he enacts a one-world-government. Grow a pair and admit it!

One expects Hal Lindsey might be hiding up on the catwalk, ready to swing down onto the stage like Tarzan and predict something having to do with China.

And everywhere at the convention was the mantra that privatization and free market is good, while government health care is bad. Free market good, government bad. (Four legs good, two legs bad...) But it's dawned on me (and I'll hammer more on this in later posts) that we have the ultimate standard of the conservative ideal. That's right, there's a nation out there which has privatized nearly everything about itself, from health care, to police and fire protection, and civil service, there really isn't anything about this country that isn't privatized and left entirely to the free market. Naturally, given what conservatives today are constantly telling us, one would expect this country to be absolutely rolling in cash -- the epitome of wealth and prosperity without liberalism or government programs to hold it down. What is this great nation?

It's Mexico!

That's right, Mexico, which privatizes everything, and has government programs for virtually nothing. Building of roads, sewers, electric power grids, or anything else is left to private interests.

And Mexico's economy is so strong that its primary export is its own citizens!

So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

Anyway, it isn't just conservatism which has been screwing things up lately. In the interest of being an equal-opportunity shit-kicker, I thought I'd point out how certain liberal screw-ups have been highlighted recently. Most notably, this has been in regard to the American missionary goofballs who were arrested trying to make off with Haitian children to give them better lives in the United States. Now, putting aside the issue of fundamentalists being so desperate to have youngsters they can convert to their religion (because every little mind too young to defend itself is a virtually guaranteed proselyte), there's the obvious point that if these people really wanted to adopt black children, they could have looked to their own back yard and rescued some kids from the inner city! Was it really all that necessary to dip into the well of foreign babies? Did they really have to take advantage of a natural disaster to become parents?

Well, the answer, sadly, is yes. Because had they tried to rescue some inner city black children they would have found those children yanked from them by some wrongheaded leftist judge who would just give them right back to their crack-whore mothers, all so that black children can have black parents -- a profoundly racist standard by any measurement. It shames me to admit that such lunacy from the bench could actually be thought of as traditionally liberal, but there it is.

So, as a direct result, the earthquake strikes, and there go the missionaries, taking advantage of tragedy just to have a black kid that won't get dragged away by the American "justice" system to have its life ruined right under the caring family's nose. Should we at all be surprised?

There's so much more to rant about. So much more to get off my chest. But I have to leave it there for now.

But just wait until I tackle the whole thing about the suicide pilot in Texas.


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