Thursday, July 28, 2016

Hasbro Releases Hillary Clinton Weeble Toy!


In honor of both the nomination of the first major-party female presidential candidate to be nominated, and in simultaneous commemoration of the 45th anniversary of the Weeble toy, Hasbro is proudly releasing a commemorative collectors' edition of the Hillary Clinton Weeble, according to a press statement made late this afternoon.

Brian Goldner, President and CEO of Hasbro, stood proudly beside President of Hasbro Brands John Frascotti as the new Weeble Toy was presented to the press.

"We thought it was both appropriate and profound," said Brian Goldner. "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down, as the old commercials used to say. And that's just like Hillary. You can knock her down and knock her down, but she always bobs right back up again!"

"Plus, if you're of a conservative mindset, you can just keep hitting her," added Frascotti.

"The toy, you mean," Goldner corrected.

"Yeah, the toy," said Frascotti.

Hasbro first released the egg-shaped Weeble Toy on July 23, 2971. It was marketed under their "Romper Room" brand. Because the "egg" is weighted on the bottom, the toy always pops back up when knocked over, and wobbles back and forth afterward. Weeble People have ranged from generic men and women to animals and celebrities of all sorts, and have delighted generations of children.

Hasbro wanted to do the release on the 45th anniversary of the toy, but had to wait for Hillary to officially accept her party's nomination first.

"It's a remarkable moment," said Goldner. "Chelsea probably played with Weeble toys when she was a kid, and now her mother is one!"

"She's also a history making presidential candidate," Frascotti pointed out.

"Yeah, that too," said Goldner.

When asked whether Hasbro was considering releasing a version of a classic children's toy, John Frascotti didn't hesitate in his answer.

"Silly Putty," he told reporters. "Without a doubt, Donald Trump is definitely Silly Putty."

"We'll get back to you about that," interrupted Goldner.


Eric

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