Monday, September 26, 2016

Trump Is The Antichrist. No, Really!


Perhaps you've heard rumors that Donald Trump is the Antichrist among certain Biblical scholars? Well, it's time for a confession.

I was one of them.

As a former student at North Central University in Ministerial Studies (what they called "Pastoral Studies" back then, and we're talking 1991), I have a pretty good insight into the Bible and how people interpret it. As such, I decided that I would troll the Christian community I once knew as my second family, and promote the idea that Donald Trump is the Antichrist incarnate.

But let me first address some criticisms. Was that deceptive of me? You bet. Was it politically motivated? Of course! Yet the Antichrist is clearly depicted in Revelation as coming with signs and wonders. One of those would clearly be mind control, as so garishly depicted in the Left Behind novels. So when people support Donald Trump, in spite of his being so obviously a despicable person (dare I say, "deplorable?") one can only think that he, as the Antichrist, must be working his Satanic ju-ju to put the mental whammy on people. And keep in mind, I'm an atheist and I find that notion compelling!

If there is such a thing as an Antichrist, Trump is clearly it! Because if an atheist can be brought to the verge of being a believer just by seeing Trump's mind-controlling powers, you can bet your ass there's something seriously fucked up going on with the Trump candidacy!

"But what about the Rapture?" you ask. Well, there's two End Times interpretations on that. Three, technically. One is that the Rapture will take place first, and then the Tribulation will follow as the Antichrist reigns for 1000 years. That's the version popularized by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. But there's an equally plausible counter-interpretation of Scripture that says it happens the other way around! First the Antichrist appears, and then the Rapture takes place 1000 years later. If this is correct...

Oh, shit, hold on to your Christian butts! Donald Trump is here. And he's deceived the faithful, just as the book of Revelation said he would!

So don't criticize me for being deceptive. I wanted to see just how well the idea would go over among Christians. In other words, I was only as deceptive once as Donald Trump has been thousands of times over.

And as it turned out, those who refuse to flinch at people rising from the dead, having bread and wine turn into actual flesh and blood, and think enough faith can enable one to walk on liquid water, refuse to accept that Donald Trump is Nicolae Carparthia.

For about a year now, I've adopted the fake Internet persona of John Daniel Elijafor, whose resume includes, like me, a stint at North Central, and close ties with the Christian community of Milwaukee. Writing as John Daniel, I made the case that Donald Trump is the Antichrist, both by fitting his name into the 616 numerological jargon, and by connecting him to Biblical prophecy. If you want to read the entire blog posts I made, and the arguments I used. You can click here:

Bible Prophecy And Today's News

666 vs 616, Which One Is True?

Characteristics Of The Antichrist

The Antichrist Revealed!

Now, Christians were not fooled by this, and that's to their credit. It's so amazing to me how those who are so gullible regarding how bloodshed is required for atonement are so quick to reject more plausible forms of bullshit. But then, that's exactly my point! If Christians are so naturally skeptical, even of ideas that make sense within their own religion, why can't they be more skeptical of Donald Trump, the most obvious con-man since Joseph Smith?

Oh yeah. The last Republican candidate was suckered in by that guy, too. And Christians somehow didn't care then, either.

I made the connection with the word "drumpf" and Trump's original family name, and I confess that this was made up out of whole cloth. But the part about signs and wonders indicating that Trump is the Antichrist was from the heart. Seriously, I find that idea disturbing! As an unbeliever!

And if Trump suffers a head wound, and miraculously recovers from it, I may just repent!


Eric

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